My Yami
by crystalphoenix3
Summary: One shot [Part One Of The Trilogy] Yugi's POV. Yugi thinks about his Yami, love, and death. Implied Suicide.


Crystalphoenix here:  This is angst.  I was a severely depressed writer and decided to take it out on Yugi.  I apologize to him now.  It's a good thing that I don't actually own Yugioh or anything else because everyone might end up with some really warped shows.  A note to anyone who is reading my other fics and are anxiously awaiting updates there will be updates tomorrow.  I was at a Weird Al concert last night instead of in front of my computer.  Great concert.  Anyway read, enjoy, and review.

My Yami.

You would think that would mean something.  Wouldn't you?

I thought so.

Two halves.

Light and Dark.

One soul.  Two halves.

One shouldn't be able to survive without the other half, Right?

Well I thought so.  

Until I found out that one half can be replaced.

How did I find out?

Painfully.

He found another half.  

Who?

Tea.

Where does that leave me?

Broken.

Soulless.

Light without the darkness.

So what am I supposed to do?

What is light without dark?

Nothing.

It can't exist.

So what does the light do?

It becomes the darkness.

How do you do that?

Painfully.

It started out innocently enough.

I made dinner one night.  

Thought I could keep him at my side.

He left to go see her.

Couldn't let the food go to waste.

So I kept cooking, kept chopping, until something happened.

Can you guess what?

The knife slipped.

I cut myself.

It hurt.

I watched as the blood flowed.

It hurt even more.

But as I watched I felt better.

Why?

Don't know.

But I found out that it felt good.

Each time I did it.

It felt better and better.

Each time I did it.

Just little nicks at first.

They didn't bleed much and they healed quickly.

Then the cuts got bigger.

The blood flowed faster.

The pained numbed.

How did I hide it?

You would think that would be hard wouldn't you?

You would think that my "friends" would notice a change.

Nope.

I think Joey noticed something.

I smiled, told him everything was fine, and he shrugged it off.

He's so gullible.  

Don't get me wrong.  I care about him.  

He is my friend after all.  At least he thinks so.  

Yami would be harder, right?

He shares my body.

Uses it almost every night now to go see Tea.

It's hard to make out when you're a spirit with no body.

You'd be surprised at how easy it is.

Do you know why it's called shadow magic?

Shadows hide everything.

Happiness, Saddness, Pain, and Scars.

Maybe he'd like me better if he knew what I could do.

Probably not.

It's not like I was going to tell him anyway.

How would that have gone over?

Yami, I've been slitting my wrists and using shadow magic to hide it from you.

Yeah, that'd work.

He'd hide all the knives just so he could keep the body in one piece.

I don't know why I thought that things could be different.

He hated me when I first solved the puzzle.

I thought he had started to care about me.

I thought I had softened his heart.

I was wrong.

She did.

She did it all.

Don't know how.

Wish I did.

Wish I could have stopped it.

What's that Yami?

You have a date with Tea tonight?

You want to borrow the body?

Sure, but where are you going?

The carnival?

That sounds like fun.

Wish I could go with him instead of her, but I'd never tell him that.

I have an idea, why don't you leave the puzzle here?

Why?

You are planning on going on rides, right?

That's what I thought.

It would get in the way.  Trust me.  It's big and it's heavy.

Don't worry about me.  I'll be fine.  I'll just hang in my soul room.

Just leave a note for Grandpa before you leave.  

He took off the puzzle, good.

Why is that good?

Don't I want to be close to him?

Of course I do.

I don't want to be close to her.

No, I don't think that I hate her.

I hate myself.

I should have made him care about me.

I found something out interesting at the library.

Aren't you dying to know?

I am.

Literally.

Did you know that a soul without an anchor in this world will perish?

No, I'm not planning to kill Tea.

But doesn't it make you wonder how Yami managed to stay here?

One word.

Puzzle.

Yeah, keeps him anchored here, unless he takes control of my body.

Then that anchors him.

Guess what?

He's anchored by my body, and I'm anchored by the puzzle.

What do you think would happen if I just happened to lose my connection to the puzzle?

I'd be gone.

Easy right?

Right.

Not that hard at all.

All you need is a little bit of magic.

I've got magic to spare.

And the right spell.

That's right here.

Poor Yami.

No more aibou for him to lean on.

No more aibou for him to tell all about his dates too.

Think he'll miss me?

Yeah right! 

That'd be the day.

Think anyone else would miss me?

Nope.

Everyone loves him.

Including me.

They like him better.

He's faster, stronger, smarter.

Sounds like a bad car commercial.

It's the next big thing.

It's the Yami!

Oh, well.

Still don't think that he'll miss me.

Doesn't matter.

Won't matter.

I won't be around to find out.

It'd be interesting to see what happens.

Don't think that's allowed.

Who makes up those silly rules anyway?

I'd like to meet him, her, it, whatever.

Give it a piece of my mind.

Why can't people in love be together?

Never mind, they are.  

He loves her, not me.

That's why I'm doing this, right?

I love him, and he wants to be with her.

He can't do that while I'm still here.

A problem easily remedied.

Bye Yami.

Hope you enjoy life with Tea.

Tell Joey thanks for noticing.

Tell Tristan to stay away from Serenity.

Why?

Joey doesn't like him near her.

Simple as that.

Tell Grandpa I love him.

Didn't want to make him lose anyone else.

I don't think he'll miss me much anyway.

He's got you.

Everyone's got you.

Except for me.

Well, I'm just prattling on.

Oblivion calls.

I guess it's not so bad after all.

Bye Yami.

My Yami doesn't mean a thing at all.


End file.
